Emotional Healing

It's an interesting thing how life works and how people handling things in different way. I call myself a writer, (but havent written much in about 2-3 months). When i was younger i would write all the time, mostly about my emotions-- family issues, friendship issues, relationship issues, personal issues, etc. Whenever i felt hurt or confused or out of touch with things going on in life i would write. In retrospect, when i go to read my old journals (all four of them), i can only read about the depressing times. I have no entries about the positive events that happened growing up. There is nothing in my journals about hanging with friends, going to parties, going on vacation, etc.--and i did have a lot of fun times, especially in High School. Neway, when i decided to major in journalism it was because i loved to write. I figured that if writing was my escape from life then why not make it a career. Yet, the only times words flow from my mind to paper with ease is if i am going through something in life. If everything is fine and i am happy i do not write. And i think this is the reason why i have not been successful in my ambitious plan to become a journalist. I have to live, eat, and breathe the industry. I can not only turn to writing when things are not going well for me. I have to write everyday because its apart of me. The most interesting thing about this reflection is that just recently i had my heart broken but when i sat down to write about my emotions nothing came out. It was like i had writer's block or an emotional blockage that wouldn't allow myself to write about how i was/am feeling. I wanted so badly to write a poem or blog entry expressing the hurt and confusion being felt. And when i couldn't, i began to think "Maybe i am not a writer." But about half way through this blog entry i am starting to think that i am in need of a "writer's makeover." Its time for me to take my emotional healing process (writing) and allow it to move others, allow it to tell the emotional journeys of others, and not just of myself. I think i am back on the grind! ; )